The Paths of Friendships


My life is usually one straight line with ups and downs I can manage. Well, it was until problems with family began to surface, and I had to find help. I placed my family first, and that choice became an inconvenience for my friends. Suddenly, I had to choose between spending time with them or my family. I couldn’t make parties because I was simply emotionally exhausted. Life happens. It was a choice I made.

During this time, I found that some friends became passive aggressive and angry because they were not in control, and I found that friends became angry when I took a different path because my life fell onto a different journey than what they believed I should take. Some friends even became passive-aggressive bullies and did not even know it. They’re still my friends, and I love them, but our journeys at the moment take us now in different directions.

I accepted this fact that friends can take different paths and drift apart until my mom passed away this summer, and Gabe had a pretty bad health scare, and then life went into complete chaos. I learned about friendship. I learned that there are people out there that you know who aren’t competitive with you and have no desire to judge you. It was a freakin’ enlightenment. I learned that a text or an email brightened my day and made me laugh or at least assured me that someone cared instead of that deadly and awkward silence.

I learned that a friend can be someone I can text out of the blue about what is bothering  me, and that friend will text snarky comments to make me laugh, and I learned that a friend can be someone who writes you an email or a message to ask if you are all right or just invite you for a run.  I might not respond, or I might just write, “Thank you,” but it means a great deal for someone to reach out.

I’m not perfect. I’ve been in the situation too many times when I did not know how to respond to a friend and even family who I knew were going through hard times. I’ve been the judgmental person, the gossipy person, and the competitive person. Yes, karma is going to kick me in the butt big time. Well, it is kicking me in the butt now, and I totally deserve it. However, I can learn from it now, just as I did when I was in my 40s and dealt with the “poisonous friend.” You know, it’s that friend that used me for her own advantage and dropped me when she was done. They do exist.  I’ve also learned to spot the passive aggressive and controlling friend, who controlled me through being extra nice through passive aggression. I think it’s way of survival for them.  After all, my passive aggression and my controlling issues were a means to survival, too.

Out of some hardships that have come into my life, I’ve learned about myself and who I choose as friends. Now, I’m at the point that I don’t want to waste any more time trying to make people happy or worrying if I made them mad or even trying to figure out how to make myself happy. It’s simply time to enjoy my life, to have some fun, and grow into a soul at peace. That’s where I am right now. I’m at the point that it’s time to start enjoying life with family and with friends before life runs out. It’s time to start living.